Class of Nuke ‘Em High

Class of Nuke’Em High Title
Our movie of the week for March 30th is Class of Nuke ‘Em High (1986) directed by Richard W. Haines. Starring Janelle Brady (Teen Wolf Too) as Chrissy, Gil Brenton as Warren, and Robert Prichard (The Toxic Avenger) as Spike. Tromaville High School is less then a mile away from a nuclear power plant. One of the students at Nuke ‘Em High freaks out and jumps out of a window after drinking out of a water fountain contaminated by radioactive sludge from the nuclear power plant. The honors society has become a bunch of “Cretins” wreaking havoc on the other students, forcing them to purchase their over priced toxic narcotics guaranteed to give them an atomic high.

After a few hits off some atomic weed Chrissy is ready for a hot beef injection from her love Warren. He’s a little hesitant at first, but Warren gives in to his teen urges and they have a wild romp while a few of his friends watch. When Chrissy and Warren get home they both have wild dreams foreshadowing what is in their near future.

Raz: This movie is fairly cheesy, the acting is pretty bad, and the gore is over the top. I found this movie pretty hilarious and it is a great movie to watch with your friends for a good laugh. Drama, romance, revenge this movie has it all.

Sean: This is a Troma film, and as such, it’s full of gory special effects, bad editing, cheeseball acting and it’s full of camp. Needless to say, I loved it. There really isn’t a whole lot to this movie, but that’s what makes it so great. Boy has sex with girl, girl gives birth to turdy looking worm, worm grows up and kills enemies of boy while almost killing boy and girl. You don’t get great stories like that everyday!

Raz: They did pretty good slapping together the monster baby. He was big, slimy, and terrifying, but I feel bad for the toxic puke turd looking baby. All he wanted was a little love, some friends and everyone just runs away screaming when he comes around. It is not his fault that he smells, or that your skin might melt off if he breathes on you. Just give the guy some love, be responsible parents. Take him for a walk, or go to the park.

Sean: One of my favorite supporting characters was the fat nuclear plant supervisor who didn’t want to shut down regardless of the situation. Such words of wisdom and colorful language that the silver screen has never seen, like “I don’t give a wet fart what you think”. What eventually happens to that guy is tragic, yet simultaneously fulfilling, all in one dose. I’ve had a few bosses like that guy.

Raz: I thought it was silly that smoking weed is what causes the honor students and some of the others to become freaks. The Cretins, formerly the honor society, are the local drug dealers in Nuke ‘Em High. They feel your goodies, then slap you around, then charge you outrageous prices for skunk narcotics grown in at the local nuclear power plant. I guess toxic waste is a great fertilizer. Needless to say some of the students have some abnormal side effects from this radioactive chronic. Puking up toxic sludge is not my way of spending a weekend, so remember kids say no to drugs.

Sean: Another thing that I dug about this flick was that there was always music going. There was never a single moment of ambient background noise during the entire run time. Either it was the theme song, “Class of Nuke ‘Em High”, or the song that was at the party where they got their atomic high, or some other random cock rockin’ metal. Considering there were only 3 or 4 songs listed in the credits, and it only lasted 80 minutes, that’s pretty impressive.

Raz: If you liked The Toxic Avenger I’m certain you will like this movie. Although it isn’t as gory, the horrible plot coupled with bad acting is more than enough to have you rolling on the floor. If you like to laugh this is worth watching.

Sean: After all that, if this movie doesn’t sound like one that you should see, then you’re probably pretty fucked in your head. This movie has everything, boobs, gore, toxic waste, people graphically putting their hands down people’s throats, radiation burns… the works! Just watch it already!

5 Large pizza's with everything on them, please.Here, let me zip that up for you, junior.I don't think he's very happy...I'm all itchy!  Maybe it's the herps!Tromaville?We're part of the nuclear generation!Wow, so that's what the ground looks like, huh?
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