Take a biker movie, throw in a satanic cult and werewolves and mix it all together and you get Michel Levesque’s (Sweet Sugar, The Gravitational Bed) grindhouse flick “Werewolves on Wheels”. This one stars Steve Oliver (Peyton Place) as the leader of the bikers, “Adam”, with a short part by Severn Darden (Mother, Jugs & Speed,) playing the satanic priest with the annoying voice, “One”.
This film starts out with a biker gang, the “Devil’s Advocates” wreaking havok on some random pair of guys driving down the road that happens to knock one of the biker buddies off his hog. They beat the driver (who looks a lot like Roscoe P. Coltrane from The Dukes of Hazzard) mercilessly at a gas station and throw him in the back of his own truck while his passenger drives off. Some kind of retarded gas station attendant shortly thereafter puts his eyes on his first pair of titties, as the bikers get raucous at this weird gas station that serves beer… You’d think there’d be a police officer hanging around to catch drunk drivers, since that’s the ultimate in DUI-busting convenience. The whole opening scene is like a bizzaro Easy Rider.
The film is padded with a bunch of footage of these guys riding their choppers around to some song about having one foot in heaven and one foot in hell. After some long drawn out scenes of a satanic cult and their black mass - and the death of one black cat, the gang makes their way to the desert and the werewolf part of the movie starts up. Unfortunately, you don’t get to see much of the werewolves, but the makeup looks pretty good during those few minutes you do get to see them.
Some of the characters are somewhat amusing, but for the most part the toughguy act gets a little old after a while. What can you really expect though? They’re supposed to be these bad ass bikers drinkin beers, doin bitches, right? They recycle a lot of footage of them driving around and if there’s more than 3 total songs throughout the movie, I’d be surprised. The whole thing is only an hour and 20 minutes, so you’d think they could have done a little better in condensing the pretty weak story.
The one big strike against this movie is that it takes a while to get to the werewolf scenes, which is probably what everyone’s really watching the movie for. After all the wait, there’s only one scene of a werewolf actually riding a motorcycle (which you can see in the trailer)! The thing that makes this movie so disappointing is that you’re probably just watching it for werewolves, but when they finally show up on screen, they’re so dark you really can’t tell what’s going on!
I was really underwhelmed with this movie. I think from the title, I was expecting a lot more. More werewolves, period – more werewolves killing people, and more werewolves riding on motorcycles. The whole thing is so dark that you’ll definitely have to watch it with the lights off so you can see some of the darker scenes. Even the trailer (which is posted below the break) is put in these weird colors so that they can show you what’s going on, because these scenes are the ones that are too dark to see. If you’re into biker movies, or you don’t have anything else to do and you see this movie in your local video store, give it a look, but I wouldn’t suggest going out of you way to see it. There are a lot of other biker movies out there, and most of them do the whole biker theme a lot better.
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