Tales from the Quadead Zone

This… This movie is like searching for a lost gem. You put a lot of work tracking it down, studying ancient maps and texts. When you finally find and uncover this gem, it appears to be diamond, but on further examination it turns out to be glass.Tales from the Quadead Zone is the second and last film from director Chester Novell Turner, the first being Black Devil Doll from Hell. It’s worth mentioning that Chester Novell Turner also works as the writer, the producer, the editor, and the composer to the music on the film.

Tales from the Quadead Zone plays a lot like a “Tales from the Crypt”, or more appropriately a “Tales from the Hood”, as it tells 3 horror stories, each with it’s own twist of sorts. It’s told through a mother reading a book of stories to her invisible/dead son. The first story is “Food for ?” which examines a poor white family that has eight hungry mouths to feed, but only food for four. Because it would be too difficult to divide the 4 sandwiches they have into halves so everyone cold eat a little, they instead have some kind of weird race to grab what food they can, leaving some members of the family to go hungry. After what is assumed to be one day of this, a single member takes matters into his own hands to resolve the problem plaguing this family.

In the second story, “Brothers”, a man breaks into a funeral home in order to steal the body of his deceased brother so that he can take revenge on the dead body by burying him in the “crawl place” of his home rather than let him be properly buried. In a surprising twist, the spirit of the dead brother returns to his body and the brothers let bygones be bygones and go out for a drink… Just kidding, the dead brother has some words a few other ideas for his kidnapper.

The story to finish out the film is the mother reading to the son. The father comes home to find the mother reading the book, and he becomes enraged that the mom can’t give up the fact that her son is dead, and he ends up beating her with the book and wrestling around on the floor. The mother eventually cracks and
takes out her frustrations on her husband.

I could write a lot about how bad this movie is. The sound is awful – sometimes you can’t either hear or understand what’s being said because of effects on the voices, or background noises like clanking dishes. The video isn’t much better – sometimes the picture is too dark, or just plain black. You know something is going on in the scene, but you can’t see it because there’s no lighting. The acting is horrible – most of the actors probably did this movie as a favor and did the work for free. The direction is non existent to the point that it’s almost non direction – scenes last too long and shots linger on actors faces who are just looking blankly in the distance, almost as if they’re waiting for someone off camera to give them a cue for their next line. The running time is 61 minutes, and if a professional director had filmed this, it would have had trouble filling a 1/2 hour sitcom episode. The special effects – laughable. The whole thing was filmed on a camcorder… in 1987… you can imagine the video quality

While it would be really easy to bash this film. There are several examples of the points mentioned above to rip it to shreds. I won’t do that here. All I’ll say is that if you are interested in seeing this, be aware of the issues listed above. If taken for what the film is, the stories themselves aren’t bad, and everything probably could have turned out tolerable if some more work had been put into it. As it stands, this is probably one of the best examples of bad cinema – the entire production is done poorly. If there’s such a thing as sub z-cinema, this is the poster child.

Click the link below and be prepared to be assaulted by the vocal stylings of Chester Novell Turner’s TALES FROM THE QUADEAD ZONE

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Bg07PgZzkY]

3 thoughts on “Tales from the Quadead Zone”

  1. my gal and i still cannot debate the bottom of the barrel goodness of this film of “black devil doll from hell” but i secretly know i’m right. viva the qua-dead zone!

  2. i like the psuedo fat albert voice in the youtube clip. that music is also amazing, step aside kraftwerk. the drawings… holy shit.

  3. I can appreciate the music. There are groups doing the whole 8-bit thing today that would die for it, and I have to say that I do groove to it quite a bit.

    “Be careful Bobby, you know we done broke 3 glasses this week”

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