I knew that I’d never be a doctor, I can’t stand the sight of blood. Crazy, huh? I write reviews of gory horror movies and I can’t stand the sight of blood. I can’t even get my blood taken at the doctor’s office without practically passing out. Working in a medical supply warehouse would probably be pretty cool though. You get to see all types of weird medical equipment, and I’m sure all the different posters and stuff would be pretty cool. If I do ever decide to get a job at a medical supply warehouse, I’ll make sure to ask for a tour of the place before I accept any jobs. That way, I can see if they have any suspicious tanks or drums in their basement that say “In case of emergency, call the U.S. Army”. See, that’s one thing Freddy forgot to do in Dan O’Bannon’s 1985 zombie flick “Return of the Living Dead”
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A G.I. with a mysterious past rescues the Colonel’s daughter Patricia (Judie Aronson), when his convoy comes under attack from ninjas. While fighting the ninjas, the G.I. – Joe Armstrong (played by Michael Dudikoff) fends off the ninja force in impressive fashion, leading the head Ninja, Black Star Ninja (Tadashi Yamashita) to believe that he has some extraordinary skill, and may be a ninja himself.
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With me being an emerging fan of Indonesian cinema I was fairly optimistic about the 1987 film Virgins from Hell (Perawan disarang sindikat) directed by Ackyl Anwari. First of all the title sends a mass overload of wonderful images to my mind. And ‘B’ it stars Harry Capri who we all remember from The Stabilizer and Rambu (aka The Intruder). So this should be a good movie filled with high entertainment and some decent nudity right? Let’s see…
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She-Wolves of the Wasteland (aka Phoenix the Warrior) begins in the future, where a biological war breaks out that somehow kills every man on earth, and only a handful of women survive. It’s the old post apocalyptic tale with a twist. This time an evil woman known as the Reverend Mother (Sheila Howard) decides to repopulate the earth in a sick and corrupt way. In what corrupt way, I’m not sure, I just know that this Rev. Mom has a big deformed head with surgical tubing coming out of it. Anyhow, A woman escapes Rev. Mom and runs off into the desert, and has a gaggle of bounty hunters after her. One lone warrior steps out of the wasteland to protect her, and that woman is PHOENIX!
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Lynn (Qi Shu) is an assassin hired by Lui Chow (Sau Sek) the brother of a major and corrupt business man to kill his own brother. Assisted by her sister Sue (Wei Zhao) they take out Nunn Chow ( Siu-Lun Wan). After the job is done Lynn decides to quit the business and orders her sister to do the same. Hong Yat Hong (Karen Mok) is the detective assigned to Nunn’s murder and she suspects Lui has something to do with his brother’s demise. To tie up all of the lose ends Lui orders has his mob to kill Lynn, Sue, and detective Hong. Angered by the double cross Sue goes to seek revenge but on her own she can only get SO CLOSE!
Written by: Jeffrey Lau and Directed by: Corey Yuen
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