Born to be a Warrior (Rodjen kao ratnik)

There is a man who could crush all opponents with using only his skull.  He could trade gut shots with giants, and still destroy them in a single blow.  This god living in a mere mortal body can do sit ups while holding hundreds of kilograms of weights like they were a bassinet full of newborn quadruplets.  He can do the curly shuffle better than any of the three stooges including Shemp.  That man is the one and only Gidra, and he comes from the back country of Serbia, or some other eastern European country, to the big city so that he can trade gut shots with bigger competition, under the guise of going to school or something…

Gidra and his friend Bart go to the big city to start in school, but they meet a couple guys that get Gidra in the boxing gym so he can show his stuff, and what do you know, he’s a natural!  When Gidra’s not boxing at the gym, or never showing up for school again, he’s on the street fighting the local gang, and stealing clothes from the gangsters.  Because he’s trying to play robin hood, he gets the attention of the big gangsters in the town, and he’s become a hunted man.

While he’s easily in his 40’s, he ends up hooking up with a high school girl, and he has to leave for a while so things can cool off.  When the coast is clear, he comes back to town to fight a final battle against a mentally deficient Ivan Drago.  During his final fight, he trades blows, gut shots, and even has to dodge a few bullets, but his iron will stands resolve, even through tragedy.  That is why Gidra is “Born to be a Warrior“.

Raz: This movie is so bad it is good.  First off you have this really old guy Gidra, and I will have to admit that he is in really good shape.  Ever seen a cock push-up before?  Yeah, me neither, not until I saw this movie.  That is Gidra’s signature move.  Lets see how many cock push-ups I can do in a minute.  Several times in this movie Gidra shows off his talent to his friends while they time him.  Then they all cheer “Yay you did it Gidra!” then they touch tips.  Well they don’t touch tips, I think they saved that for the porn remake “Born to be a Ass Warrior”.  For being in such great shape Gidra tromped around town hunched over a lot.  I am not sure if geriatric ass was so old he shambled around like the hunch back of Notre Dame, or if his muscles were so big that he had to slump forward a little.  Judging by his face I would have to say option one was the correct choice.

Sean: Judging by his face, he was in a state of constant constipation, maybe that’s why he was so hunched over.  When we’re saying that this dude was old, we’re not just being funny – the guy was easily in his mid 40’s, macking on high school chicks.  When he’s not doing the cock pushups (and sorry, that’s the best way to describe them), he’s running on the beach, or scaling craggy rocks on the beach.  I almost always learn something I didn’t know before from watching these movies, and this one is no exception.  I learned a new way to greet people – just walk into a room, raise both of your arms into the air and say “HEY!” and everyone knows who you are.

Raz: One thing that really bothered me about this movie is the holes the story has.  The movie jumps scenes quite too often.  One moment Gidra is fighting a gang of thugs, then the next moment he is at home.  It is like they didn’t know how to end the scene so they just jumped to the next one.  The one scene that I am refering to is the fight between “Savage” and Gidra.  Gidra agrees to meet Tiger on the beach at night to throw down.  Of course Savage brings his posse and they try to lynch Gidra after he kicks ass.  Gidra swims a little off of the shore to escape.  Then it cuts to the next scene.  Sure it seem like a valid scene change, but he is still with in distance to get his ass gang stomped.  In fact the gang literally has to pull Savage out of the water and he is only a few steps away from Gidra.  Next time I am in a gang fight on the beach I will jump into the water to save my ass.  It’s not like they could swim after me, or shoot me.

Sean: Maybe they couldn’t swim, ever think of that?!  Gidra WORKS OUT ON THE BEACH, MAN, he’s gotta be a champion swimmer.  Do you think someone who trains by running on the sand wouldn’t at least be tempted to jump in the water and try to swim a few strokes every once in a while?  Anyhow, you’re right, the story was crap, but that doesn’t change the fact that Gidra is an awesome dude, even when he has to wear a sock on his head after he gets hit with a lead pipe after a fight.  As a matter of fact, he gets beat up a lot after he wins a fight.  He needs to stop fighting people who’s friends are gonna hit him with cheap shots after he’s already exhausted, that’s just not cool.

Raz: Over all I thought this movie was pretty bad.  I did find it funny at times, but I don’t think that I could ever watch this movie again.  The ending is pretty bad.  When the movie ended I was not sure if it was over, but the cock push-up montage kick signified that it was done.  Actually it was more of a slow motion “look at what I can do… Cock push-ups!  And yes this movie is over, turn it off now.”  Although it is a good movie to watch with your friends to make fun of it.  I give this movie 2 cock push-ups out of 5.

Sean: You are off of your rocker.  This movie was AWESOME!  I’m gonna watch it several times for inspiration, and probably a few more times just because I can.  Hell, I might even review it again, that’s how much I enjoyed it.  I’m not gonna say that this is my favorite movie, but it definitely deserves a viewing, although it is pretty rare.  I found out some sad news while researching this movie, though, and that is that Dragomir “Gidra” Stojanovic (who starred in only this movie, which he helped write) died tragically about 7 years after this movie.  In my professional bad movie watching opinion, I rate Born to be a Warrior 4 punches to the gut out of 5, if for the speedo shots alone.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HSAV1T5y83g]

7 thoughts on “Born to be a Warrior (Rodjen kao ratnik)”

  1. man, this is the worst serbian movie ever! The most retarded and pointless abomination in whole serbian cinematography! Too bad that people don’t know about this movie, it could be a trash cult. Gidra Stone is also my hero on myspace… 🙂

  2. Oh wow. This made my day.

    True story:
    Gidra’s son Nemanja was my classmate in elementary school. We would often go to his house and play at Gidra’s private gym, he would make us popcorn and do cock push-ups for us. All of his kids did it too, they entered the Guinness Book of Records for that year. When the movie came out, Gidra took my entire class to see it in the theater. No one else but us kids were there. I honestly doubt more than 50 people ever saw it in theater. It was playing for no more than 10 days at the dingiest theater in town. Still, he was so proud.
    Later he went to the States, and my classmate sent me pictures of him, his dad and their buddy Arnold Schwarzenegger at some LA gym.
    When they came back to Serbia, everyone knew Gidra was into some shady business, and it came as no surprise when he was shot and killed (there were many mafia shootings at the time in Belgrade).

    I loved this movie when I saw it, it was so insanely bad that it was a delight. I tried to find it in Serbia, or online or something but I couldn’t so it’d be nice if someone would give me a link or something, maybe upload it for me.. After all, it is one of the cult movies of my childhood 😀

  3. @Ana Thanks for the awesome backstory. It’s cool to hear how these films effect people’s lives. I’ve mentioned several times in these reviews how as a kid, these movies were really a kind of mystery to me, and essentially that’s what got me into creating this site – so I could go back and check out all these awful movies from my childhood. While Born to be a Warrior was a movie that I stumbled across while researching films to review for this site, I can appreciate the feelings that these films give us.

    Drop us a line at info@internalbleeding.net and we’ll see what we can do about getting “Born to be a Warrior” to you.

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