Monthly Archive for March, 2009

Dead Snow

Rating: 4.5

dead snow Dead Snow
I’ve reviewed movies about Nazi Zombies before – the ill conceived “Shock Waves“, and “War of the Dead” come to mind, so it’s not like it’s a new concept (even Zombie Lake used the idea.)   It’s an idea that you would think would have wild success.  Just mention the ideas of Nazis and zombies in the same sentence and you pique the interest of a lot of horror fans.  So, if this is such a great combination of two gruesome archetypes, why did it take until 2009’s Død snø (aka Dead Snow) to make a film utilizing Nazi Zombies to this degree of goodness?

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Dead Set

Rating: 5

dead set 8 Dead Set
Television isn’t something we usually talk about here at Internal Bleeding, because let’s face it, TJ Hooker hasn’t been on in years, and something like Trueblood and all that vampire BS really doesn’t appeal to me.  One thing that I’ve always thought was missing was a zombie show based on a really interesting story that focuses on the survivors, and their attempt to get out of a scary situation while the undead horde bears down on them.  My prayers were answered when I found Dead Set, a British television show that centers around a zombie outbreak that happens during a season of Big Brother.  Because the participants in the Big Brother reality show are cut off from communication with the outside world, they’re entirely oblivious to the fact that the world around them is being over run, and their production crew is in imminent danger as well.

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Lady Avenger

Rating: 4

lady avenger Lady Avenger

Hot off the heels of her breakout role as “Stripper” in Beverly Hills Cop, Peggy McIntaggart puts on a stunning performance as Maggie, or as she’s better known…. LADY AVENGER!  While in prison for something that might have had to do with drugs (it’s never really explained), her brother Jeff (Jeff Brown from Hack-O-Lantern) is murdered, and his girlfriend is raped and her eyes are cut out.  Even though Maggie isn’t the model prisoner, for some reason the warden let’s her out to attend the funeral – accompanied by a guard.  While she’s out, she’s going to have to get away from that guard so that she can extract her own form of justice on the people who put her brother in the ground!

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Tourist Trap

Rating: 2

tourist trap Tourist Trap
I have a thing about mannequins.  To put it bluntly, I don’t like them, they creep me out.  They’re on my short list of dislikes, along with dolls and clowns.  I thought that Tourist Trap would probably haunt my nightmares, but in the end it was more frustrating than anything else.  Chuck Connors stars as Mr. Slausen, the curator of a roadside souvenir shop that hasn’t gotten much business since they put the highway in.  Well, it must be his lucky day because a group of “teenagers” have some car trouble and they just happen to break down right outside his property.

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Tongan Ninja

Rating: 2

TN-Title

Take a little bit of Kung Fu Hustle, mix in some Flight of the Conchords, and then redub English with more English and you get the 2002 Tongan Ninja. Jemaine Clement (“The Flight of the Conchords”) co-wrote this cheese-ball action/comedy/musical about a pair of young friends who crash land on the island of Tonga. While trying to save the 2 boys Sione’s father’s legs are eaten by fish and he dies. So the boys must stay on the island where they are trained by Master Nagasake in the martial arts.

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