Tongan Ninja


Take a little bit of Kung Fu Hustle, mix in some Flight of the Conchords, and then redub English with more English and you get the 2002 Tongan Ninja. Jemaine Clement (“The Flight of the Conchords”) co-wrote this cheese-ball action/comedy/musical about a pair of young friends who crash land on the island of Tonga. While trying to save the 2 boys Sione’s father’s legs are eaten by fish and he dies. So the boys must stay on the island where they are trained by Master Nagasake in the martial arts.

TN-SioneSione grows up to become the Tongan Ninja, while Marvin becomes his arch enemy Action Fighter! TN is sent by his master to New Zealand where his friend who is in trouble. Miss Lee and her uncle are being harassed by Mr. Big and his henchmen. They are trying to take the one thing they have left, their restaurant. But TN shows up to kick some ass, and a romance develops between him and Miss Lee. Along the way TN uses his ninja skills to fight off a bunch of baddies, including Gun Man, Knife Man. But someone always appears to be following him during his every move. After Miss Lee is kidnapped by Mr. Big TN kicks down some doors to get her back. Just when you think it’s over, Action Fighter shows up and we learn a secret from his past. His father is actually Mr. Big! So father and son team up to kidnap Miss Lee, again. TN makes one last climb to the top of Mr. Big’s fortress where he and his arch enemy face off for the final time!

TN-ElvisTongan Ninja didn’t really stand out as the movie I thought it could be. I am a huge Flight of the Conchords fan but this movie was even cheesier than the show which was not a good thing. There were definitely some funny parts, and the action scenes were way over the top. I found myself laughing out loud once or twice, especially in the car chase scene. But it didn’t grab me enough to want to watch it again. In fact the person I watched it with fell asleep for the last half of the movie so I was forced to write this review alone. You could certainly find worse slap-slick action movies out there, but I bet there are some better ones too. I give Tongan Ninja 2 English-to-English redubs out of 5.

2 thoughts on “Tongan Ninja”

  1. If you’ve ever seen Flight of the Conchords then you’ll undestand the musical pieces. But there are only a couple so its not too bad. I kind of wished there were a few more just to break up the bland story!

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