Monthly Archive for April, 2009

Surf Nazis Must Die

Rating: 1.5

surf nazis must die Surf Nazis Must DieAfter the great quake, the California beaches are a crazy place.  Gangs are scrambling to draw up territorial lines for new turf.  The Surf Nazis are the toughest of the gangs, and they’re snatching purses from old ladies, and beating up random dudes who try to stop those petty crimes. At one point they try to unite the gangs “Warriors” style, but they can’t reach an agreement, so it’s back to terrorizing the beaches along with it’s tourists.  This time however, they beat up and killed the wrong dude, and now they have Eleanor Washington to deal with, and those Surf Nazis Must Die!

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Rapid Fire

Rating: 3.5

rapid fire Rapid FireYou would think that guns were a new invention in the 80’s, especially considering all the action movies where the plot revolved around some kind of “SUPERGUN!!!~!” Prime examples of this are Equalizer 2000, and to a lesser extent, Blastfighter.  These are the types of guns that people kill for, and in the right hands they’re strong enough to change the outcome of a war.  Well, you can add Rapid Fire to the list of movies revolving around a gun, and in this case, it’s a multi-purpose gun that fires 3 different kinds of rounds – shotgun, machine gun or grenades – depending on which barrel is active.  Oh, and one more thing, if you don’t know the secret code, you’ll be on the receiving end of an asswhippin’ yourself. Continue reading ‘Rapid Fire’

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Trilogy of Terror

Rating: 3

trilogy of terror Trilogy of Terror

Trilogy of Terror was a 1975 made for TV thriller that followed three different stories, all written by Richard Matheson and was originally created as a pilot for a horror anthology series.  Each story stars Karen Black, playing the role of 4 different characters.  The first story, “Julie”, follows an English teacher who gets romantically involved with a student.  The second story is “Millicent and Therese” where Black plays two sisters who are at odds at each other, and one of the sisters is convinced that the other is an evil being.  The final story is “Amelia”, where the title character purchases a tribal doll for her boyfriend’s birthday that ends up coming to life.

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No Holds Barred

Rating: 5

no holds barred No Holds BarredBefore he was a TV reality star, Hulk Hogan was an actor.  Before he was an actor on hits such as the TV show “Thunder in Paradise” and movies like “3 Ninjas: High Noon at Mega Mountain” and “Santa with Muscles“, he was a successful wrestler.  Now, you may not believe this, but Hulk Hogan’s first big starring role was in a movie called No Holds Barred which was a movie about wrestling!  I’m sure it’s a tough transition from successful wrestler to successful movie star, and No Holds Barred helped bridge that gap – and based on his performance here, it showed us what kind of star Hogan was to become in the future.

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Blown Away

Rating: 4.5

blown away Blown Away
Blown Away (not to be confused with the Tommy Lee Jones film) is a movie I’ve been thinking about since my high school days.  The last time I saw it was right around 1993, and even back then I knew that any movie with Corey Feldman and Corey Haim was something that could be classified as classic – in a “so bad, it’s good” kind of way.  Add to the mix that the last time I saw Nicole Eggert, she was playing the older sister in “Charles in Charge”… wow, this would be one for the ages.  It centers around Megan (Eggert), a daughter of a rich resort owner, who’s mom dies on her 16th birthday.  Ever since her mom died, she turns to a wild life of parties and living her life on the edge.  Rich (Haim) is works at her father’s ski resort and saves Megan from a near death horse attack!  The moment Megan invites him to a party, he steps into the deep end of a pool that he might not be able to swim out of.

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