Snake Eater

Snake Eater (2)

Jack “Soldier” Kelly (Lorenzo Lamas) was a member of an elite marine special forces unit known as the “Snake Eaters”.  He was  highly decorated soldier, but he was ultimately dismissed from his position because he had trouble following orders.  So, what does an ex-marine do when he can’t follow orders?  He becomes a cop of course!

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Ninja III: The Domination

Ninja III - The DominationNinjas are the closest things to comic book super heroes that we have ever seen in the history of the world. They can evaporate into thin air, they can destroy entire villages with their bare hands, and they can walk on water. I’ve learned quite a few things from watching Ninja III: The Domination, and one of those things I’ve learned is that a killer ninja can transfer his soul through his sword to another person. One other thing I’ve learned is when those crazy ninja spirits try to take over your body, you might be able to hold them off for a little by practicing aerobics while putting on crappy 80’s pop music that was hastily written minutes before recording – but that’s only because those crazy ninja spirits are just messing with your head. You can never resist crazy ninja spirits.

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Dead Heat

Dead HeatThere’s Riggs and Murtaugh, Tango and Cash, even Turner and Hooch, but now you can add Bigelow and Mortis to the long list of cop movie buddies – only this time in the action/comedy/horror genre. In Dead Heat, Detectives Roger Mortis (Treat Williams) and Doug Begelow (Joe Piscopo) get called to the scene of a jewelry store robbery in progress, where they find a couple of thugs that can take a lickin’ and keep on tickin’.  These guys are soaking up bullets but they don’t seem to be adversely effected by being pumped full of lead.  After Mortis gets the bright idea to just take them down with a cop car, they find some startling information about these crooks once the coroner get’s a chance to examine them.  They’ve been to the morgue before, and not just for a sight seeing tour – they were admitted as stiffs just a short time earlier and were given the full service treatment, autopsy and all.  So, if these guys are dead… how were they able to attempt a jewelry store robbery?

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US Catman: Lethal Track

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It’s been a while since I’ve been able to review a Godfrey Ho movie.  I’ve been building up my fortitude for almost a year since I watched Zombie vs. Ninja, and this time I’ve decided to tackle US Catman: Lethal Track, which is basically a combination of a movie about a government coup of a southeastern Asian country, which is more than likely Thailand, and an American who gets scratched by a radioactive cat that gives him super powers. Continue reading “US Catman: Lethal Track”