It’s been a while since I’ve been able to review a Godfrey Ho movie. I’ve been building up my fortitude for almost a year since I watched Zombie vs. Ninja, and this time I’ve decided to tackle US Catman: Lethal Track, which is basically a combination of a movie about a government coup of a southeastern Asian country, which is more than likely Thailand, and an American who gets scratched by a radioactive cat that gives him super powers.
In the southeastern Asian movie, a commander of the national army has kidnapped the general and his holding him hostage, along with a few other people. The only ones that can save him is are a group of rebels, including two younger guys who I thought were supposed to be the same character for about 85% of the movie, two older guys who I thought were the same character for the same amount of time, and a woman who you were supposed to think was a guy for half of the movie. They’re trying to save the general from a one eyed terrorist and his group of mustachioed henchmen, who in action scenes die several times and respawn from the dead.
In the American/radioactive cat movie, Jonathan Isgar plays the titular character that gets super powers – like the ability to punch through brick walls and can turn on and off the TV without a remote control – after trying to stop a robbery of two governmental delivery men. He’s fighting a priest that dabbles in satanic rituals and associates with the KGB. Catman and his buddy also fight the same characters over and over and they never recognize each other. This section of the movie is actually pretty funny and somewhat entertaining, but unfortunately it’s only about 25 minutes of the entire hour and a half running time of the film.
Catman never interacts with the characters from the other movie, he’s never mentioned, he’s never put into split scenes with the other movie, it’s as if he doesn’t exist outside of his few scenes. I don’t think he ever uses any of the “super powers” that he’s obtained, and despite wearing an awesome suit, he only uses one item from his “Catman utility glasses” (I made that up, they don’t ever refer to his crazy glasses) once, and that’s only at the very end of the film. When I say the very end, I mean it. About 1 second after he throws this little paintball accessory, “THE END” splashes across the screen, giving no epilogue or explanation of what’s happened. There aren’t even any credits after the film, so I have no idea what characters names really are since they get called a few things throughout the movie.
This is another Godfrey Ho example of filming scenes and then dubbing them in English to try to put a story together. I’m sure that the original films that all these actors were involved with were probably something completely different. Because they are obviously not speaking English, they can be dubbed to say whatever is needed to be said in order to make some kind of sense out of all the nonsense. One benefit to dubbing in all the voices however, is that you can give everyone really stupid accents, so maybe in that case Godfrey Ho is a genius! (You’ll never see those words written on this website again)
If any of this sounds remotely interesting to you, and you want to see this film at least for the Catman parts, my suggestion is to probably fastforward until just the Catman scenes. You’ll probably save yourself at least an hour of confusion by doing that. You might enjoy seeing the few scenes near the end with the dirtbike that has the machine gun mounted to the handlebars too (gotta save that kidnapped general somehow, right?), so you can use that as a pitstop for all that fastforwarding. US Catman: Lethal Track is only saved by the actual Catman scenes, and that’s the only thing keeping this film from getting this site’s lowest score possible – 1.5 Alton Cheung’s out of 5.
In the three clips below, you can watch only the Catman scene which are the only redeeming part of the entire movie.