US Catman: Lethal Track

catman-2

It’s been a while since I’ve been able to review a Godfrey Ho movie.  I’ve been building up my fortitude for almost a year since I watched Zombie vs. Ninja, and this time I’ve decided to tackle US Catman: Lethal Track, which is basically a combination of a movie about a government coup of a southeastern Asian country, which is more than likely Thailand, and an American who gets scratched by a radioactive cat that gives him super powers.

In the southeastern Asian movie, a commander of the national army has kidnapped the general and his holding him hostage, along with a few other people.  The only ones that can save him is are a group of rebels, including two younger guys who I thought were supposed to be the same character for about 85% of the movie, two older guys who I thought were the same character for the same amount of time, and a woman who you were supposed to think was a guy for half of the movie.  They’re trying to save the general from a one eyed terrorist and his group of mustachioed henchmen, who in action scenes die several times and respawn from the dead.

American's love that American Baseball!
American's love that American Baseball!

In the American/radioactive cat movie, Jonathan Isgar plays the titular character that gets super powers – like the ability to punch through brick walls and can turn on and off the TV without a remote control – after trying to stop a robbery of two governmental delivery men.  He’s fighting a priest that dabbles in satanic rituals and associates with the KGB.  Catman and his buddy also fight the same characters over and over and they never recognize each other.  This section of the movie is actually pretty funny and somewhat entertaining, but unfortunately it’s only about 25 minutes of the entire hour and a half running time of the film.

Catman never interacts with the characters from the other movie, he’s never mentioned, he’s never put into split scenes with the other movie, it’s as if he doesn’t exist outside of his few scenes.  I don’t think he ever uses any of the “super powers” that he’s obtained, and despite wearing an awesome suit, he only uses one item from his “Catman utility glasses” (I made that up, they don’t ever refer to his crazy glasses) once, and that’s only at the very end of the film.  When I say the very end, I mean it.  About 1 second after he throws this little paintball accessory, “THE END” splashes across the screen, giving no epilogue or explanation of what’s happened.  There aren’t even any credits after the film, so I have no idea what characters names really are since they get called a few things throughout the movie.

Catman and his Catman utility glasses
Catman and his Catman utility glasses

This is another Godfrey Ho example of filming scenes and then dubbing them in English to try to put a story together.  I’m sure that the original films that all these actors were involved with were probably something completely different.  Because they are obviously not speaking English, they can be dubbed to say whatever is needed to be said in order to make some kind of sense out of all the nonsense.  One benefit to dubbing in all the voices however, is that you can give everyone really stupid accents, so maybe in that case Godfrey Ho is a genius! (You’ll never see those words written on this website again)

If any of this sounds remotely interesting to you, and you want to see this film at least for the Catman parts, my suggestion is to probably fastforward until just the Catman scenes.  You’ll probably save yourself at least an hour of confusion by doing that.  You might enjoy seeing the few scenes near the end with the dirtbike that has the machine gun mounted to the handlebars too (gotta save that kidnapped general somehow, right?), so you can use that as a pitstop for all that fastforwarding.  US Catman: Lethal Track is only saved by the actual Catman scenes, and that’s the only thing keeping this film from getting this site’s lowest score possible – 1.5 Alton Cheung’s out of 5.

In the three clips below, you can watch only the Catman scene which are the only redeeming part of the entire movie.
Part one
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3R7BWWOYVgI]

Part two
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Peg0RaWLRsY]

Part three
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ijr77P90DCQ]

2 thoughts on “US Catman: Lethal Track”

  1. This film is hilarious.

    If it was made on a bigger budget and with more scenes (minus all that Thai stuff), it would have been better.

    I can imagine how awesome this movie would have been had it been directed by Wong Jing. The impetus behind making Catman was due to the success of the 1989 Batman film.

    Even Jing made a movie that somewhat capitalized on the success of Batman – Pantyhose Hero. It’s about a geeky martial artist serial killer who is obsessed with Batman.

    It’s a shame Pantyhose Hero never had a girls-with-guns sequel entitled Pantyhose Heroine. We could have seen Yukari Oshima and Moon Lee play cops who have to pretend to be a couple (Yukari being the butch and Moon being the bitch), complete with a showdown pitting the two of them against Karen Shepherd and Sophia Crawford.

    I think Jing could have capitalized on the success of Batman Returns by filming a sequel where there’s a serial killer who’s obsessed with Catwoman.

    Anyway, here’s an interview with Jonathan Isgar:

    http://www.hkcinemagic.com/en/page.asp?aid=321&page=9

  2. I can’t tell you how much i enjoy reading these reviews and actually seeing the footage, we had a bloody ball making these el cheapo movies, i remember the first day of shooting when Alton turned up with the catman costume, mate, we where falling into bits laughing, i actually felt a bit sorry for Alton (his big idea), anyway once we got to work and Alton started running around like a blue arse fly, the days went past pretty quick with all the laughs, Ken Goodman asked him “Alton, who watches these movies ?, he told us University students after studying use them to turn off, Ken said “what there brains” haha, I’ve realy enjoyed seeing Father Cheevers, Blue (Cheevers) was a real good mate of mine, unfortunatly we lost him when his pancreaus collapsed in about ’94 after a big session in a bar in Manila, so thanks you guys for that.

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