Trying to find a Christmas movie that fits the theme of this site can be a daunting task. Last year I think we actually came across some of the better ones like Santa With Muscles and Silent Night Deadly Night. This year we had to dig a little deeper into our bag of goodies to find a different twist on the Santa Slasher! We reached in and found Christmas Evil aka You Better Watch Out, a film which has been compared to Silent Night Deadly Night, and even got a glowing mention from trashy film maker John Waters.
Like most boys and girls Christmas is the favorite time of year for Harry Stadling. He loves all of it, the tree, the snow, the presents, and especially Santa Claus! 8 year old Harry and his brother and sister decide to stay up on Xmas Eve to see once and for all that Santa is truly real. But even after seeing him come down the chimney and deliver gifts his siblings are positive it was their dad. Still, Harry’s love of Santa forces him to take one last peek downstairs to find out the truth. Low and behold Harry sees something interesting, Santa getting hot and heavy with his mom! Of course most of us would realize it was our dad and be grossed out, but Harry snaps, runs up to the attic and slices his hand with a snow globe he smashed on the ground. His Xmas dream is ruined… or is it?!?
Thirty-some years later Harry is still a huge Xmas fan. His entire house is decorated and he even sleeps in Santa PJs every night. The dream has gone a little further though, Harry actually wants to become Santa… psycho! He spies on the neighbor kids with binoculars and writes down what he sees them doing in his “Naughty” and “Nice” books. I think these days that can probably get you 2-3 years in the pokey! Harry even has a job at a toy manufacturer, but he has recently been bumped up to management and neither he nor his coworkers are to happy about it. He loved making toys which is why he fills in for a line worker, Frank, who has an emergency (he has to get bombed with his buddies at the local watering hole!). Harry doesn’t mind filling in, but he feels like he gets no respect and is being used, especially when he catches Frank at said watering hole later that night.
Harry goes on taking crap from people and trying to explain the goodness of Xmas to everyone he comes in contact with. But at some point he just can’t take it anymore. So he decides to do what every good Santa impersonator does, get dressed up and show people what the spirit of Xmas is all about. He even paints his bitchin’ van with a red sleigh… now that’s dedication! Unfortunately Harry, I mean New Santa’s idea of holiday giving is a little skewed in some places. He does deliver toys to a local children’s hospital, but they were toys he stole from work. He also stops by the church to wish everyone a Merry Christmas! But then he gets teased and jams an ice pick attached to the little drummer boy into a guys skull, and proceeds to hit 3 other people over the head with an axe. In all fairness it was a holiday axe, but come on already. As his last act of Xmas valor, he brings gifts to Frank’s children at their house. You remember Frank and what he did right, well so does Harry and so he sneaks into Frank’s room and suffocates him with his Santa sack right in front of his wife who is sleeping next to him. Harry just can’t seem to do anything right, and after a whole night of showing people who’s been naughty and nice the town folk are finally hot on his trail and ready to take Santa down!
It would be a shame to think we reviewed ALL the good Xmas movies last year because this one just doesn’t live up to the standards we put in place last year. Don’t get me wrong there are times when I too feel like Harry and that all the luster is off Xmas, but let’s face it if you’re going to teach people the true nature of the holiday you need to make a little more noise! I guess what I’m trying to say is Harry wasn’t quite psycho enough for me, the goodness still comes out in what should have been a horror bloodbath. The character buildup was good and it had it’s weird and cheesy moments, but the action was lacking. Deep down Harry still does care about Xmas even though the few who don’t share his feelings can bleed Santa red all over the sidewalk. He is one messed up dude, but maybe he portrays what the real Santa was like. Does anyone believe that he was jolly 365 days a year having to make toys with those annoying little ankle-biter elves running around everywhere? Definitely check out our other Xmas reviews before this one, but if you have already give Christmas Evil a shot and maybe you’ll like it better an me. I gave it 2 poorly made plastic Xmas toys out of 5.
Check out another person’s video review here: