Slumber Party Massacre

Slumber parties back in the day used to be a fun time to get together with your friends to watch some trash movies, eat a little greasy pizza, tell some ridiculous stories and then wake up your parents because you’re all laughing too loud about the whole thing.  Maybe you hung with a crowd that would draw penises on the face of the first person who fell asleep or dip their hand in some water to see if they’d piss themselves but it usually wouldn’t get more serious than that.  More than likely, you wouldn’t have to worry about someone systematically stalking and murdering you, your friends, your neighbors and classmates – unless your life was the basis of Slumber Party Massacre!

When the cats are away, the mice will play.  Trish’s parents are going out of town and they give her the one rule every parent utters but doesn’t expect to get followed – “No Parties”!  No need to worry mom and dad, children around the world can respect that one rule, right?  I mean we’re going to have a couple friends over to just spend the night.  Technically it’s called a slumber party, but we all really know that we’re doing it for our own protection.  I’m sure any parent would agree in safety in numbers.  And hey, it’s not Trish’s fault that on the same day as her party a serial killer escapes from a local jail and happens to stumble upon her friends and their little get together.  It’s all just some kind of sick coincidence.

That sad little coincidence ends up being the basis for at least 10 deaths, all by the hands of Russ Thorn – that escaped serial killer with a weird obsession of murdering his victims with a huge cordless drill (he enjoys the convenience of not being tied to an electrical outlet).  Russ doesn’t discriminate in who he kills – just ask the pizza boy, a telephone line worker, and numerous co-ed classmates of Trish who all get drilled one way or another.  Now we can only wonder, who will be last standing after the bodies pile up in the wake of this killer.  On the upside, we only have to wait 77 minutes to see the conclusion of this fast moving film.

Slumber Party Massacre moves at a lightning quick pace.  Where you might see me sometimes complain that a movie is too long, or not long enough, 77 minutes is perfect for a movie like this.  When you’re watching a slasher as simple as this you know you’re not going to get much character development in the first place.  Who needs it when people are getting cut up constantly in one way or another.  Drill to the eye sockets?  Sure.  Drill to the forehead? Yep.  Drill to through the door into your chest?  You got it.  Can I get a drill scraped across a busty woman’s throat on table four?  Comin’ right up.

Throw in a refreshing dose of humor and a healthy bit of T&A into the thing and you’ve got yourself a recipe for a pretty entertaining horror film.  Where else are you going to see the pizza delivery boy get his eyes gouged out, then hear one of the characters say how hungry they are before they take a slice of pizza from the dead delivery guy just to turn around and comment about how eating that pizza is making them feel better already?  And of course this wouldn’t be a horror movie without the characters doing the cliche thing of splitting up on a constant basis.

If you’re looking for a film to watch during your next slumber party, you should seek out Slumber Party Massacre.  It’s a fun film that doesn’t take itself seriously at all.  I’m sure when you and your buddies are sitting around eating your own greasy pizza, telling stories about the time you left flaming dog shit on your neighbors porch, you’ll appreciate the straightforward story. You don’t have to watch every single second of it with baited breath, worrying that if you miss a minute you won’t know who is who or what they did.  All you’ll have to know is get away from Russ Thorn and don’t go anywhere alone.  I give Slumber Party Massacre 4.5 tan lines out of 5.

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