Watching B-movies so you don't have to!
When vacationing in the backwoods, make sure you listen to the locals. Maybe they know about which greasy spoon has the best breakfast, where the best swimming hole is at, and that you shouldn’t perform any rituals that might bring up ancient dangerous spirits. Unfortunately, newly dating couple Tom and Lisa, along with their friends Simone and Sam didn’t take that advice and decided to test out their knowledge of witchcraft in the wrong town.
Continue reading ‘Summer People’
After the great quake, the California beaches are a crazy place. Gangs are scrambling to draw up territorial lines for new turf. The Surf Nazis are the toughest of the gangs, and they’re snatching purses from old ladies, and beating up random dudes who try to stop those petty crimes. At one point they try to unite the gangs “Warriors” style, but they can’t reach an agreement, so it’s back to terrorizing the beaches along with it’s tourists. This time however, they beat up and killed the wrong dude, and now they have Eleanor Washington to deal with, and those Surf Nazis Must Die!
Continue reading ‘Surf Nazis Must Die’
Slaughter’s big, bad, black and bold
The brother has a lot of soul
Don’t you make him mean and cross
‘Cause he’ll show you who’s the boss
Slaughter
You can probably gather with those words, that this Slaughter guy is probably a pretty hard ass dude. If you didn’t guess that, it’s too late because he’s probably already either punched you through a wall, or tackled you from a second story into a pool. That’s because Slaughter don’t mess around, and he doesn’t appreciate it when you blow up his daddy’s car, killing him in the process.
Mike Delano (Steve Rally), a detective for the LAPD, refuses to let the Yakuza take over the west coast. While eating in a sushi restaurant, Mike and his partner witness the murder of the owner and his daughter when they won’t pay protection money to a couple Japanese gangsters. Mike’s partner gets killed during the investigation, and he gets informally teamed up with Akashi (John Nishio), a Tokyo cop to out for vengeance for slain family members who were killed in the restaurant. Akashi is used to dealing with the Yakuza in Japan, and shows Mike that he had been dealing with them in the wrong way. While the Yakuza are not afraid of death, they do respect the method of death, so Akashi quickly dispatches one of the thugs and marks him with the phoenix to send a message. Now they must battle the gang to earn their respect. Will the Yakuza kill of Mike and Akashi, or will Mike and Akashi collect all of the limbs of the gang to earn the respect they deserve – and stop them from taking over the whole west coast? Did we mention that this was directed by Ulli Lommel, the same guy that directed one of our least favorite movies “Cocaine Cowboys“? This should be interesting…
How do you take a character that was obviously shot in the face and killed, and use that same character in a sequel? Easy, just do it and don’t make any explanation available whatsoever! That’s what Don Edmonds has done in his follow up to his 1975 film “Ilsa, She Wolf of the SS“, this time entitled “Ilsa, Harem Keeper of the Oil Sheiks“. Last time Ilsa was in charge of a Nazi camp that was testing women to see if they had a higher pain threshold than men, and conducting gruesome experiments on her subjects. Now, she is a slave trader, training women to pleasure El Sharif , making them members of his harem. Then, she was in Nazi Germany, in a concentration camp of sorts, and an American G.I. is the one to tame her and her wicked ways. Now, she’s in an undisclosed Middle Eastern location, and a German diplomat and an American serviceman are sent to try to tame El Sharif, and get his oil and Ilsa under control. Pretty similar so far…
Continue reading ‘Ilsa, Harem Keeper of the Oil Sheiks’
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