Watching B-movies so you don’t have to!
They say that money can’t buy happiness, but it certainly can buy a position of influence… Those are the words that are spoken very early in the Godfrey Ho film Zombie Vs. Ninja. Unfortunately for you, you won’t have any idea what that has to do with anything else that you’ll see in the next hour and a half.
Poppa Byrd is one tough old dude (played by one of the best voice-over actors ever, Scatman Crothers). He runs the baddest dojo in the whole city. Unfortunately, Poppa Byrd is a gambler, see. He owes Pinky and his gang some money, and they’re the wrong people to owe some money to. Pinky is pissed, and he’s coming to collect. When they get there, they offer to take Byrd’s dojo in exchange for his debts, but when he doesn’t see eye to eye, he takes a double neck punch straight into heaven. Wrong move, brotha! See, Byrd has a star pupil who just happens to be be one of the baddest mutha’s (shut yo mouth!) in town… and his name is Black Belt Jones!
Imagine John Matrix from Commando and Chance Boudreaux from Hard Target had a kid together… and then imagine that kid made a movie. You are probably thinking about a movie where this big huge muscle bound ex-military guy gets taken hostage and hunted by punk-asses in some backwoods setting right? Well you’re in luck because director David A. Prior has made your vision a reality with the 1988 film Deadly Prey (in all fairness Hard Target was made after this movie, but you get the idea). The film stars no one you’ve probably ever seen or heard of before, and just 10 minutes into this movie you find out why.
Where we work everyday is an adventure, and you never know if this day will be your last. Words like layoff, termination and reorganization get thrown around a lot. Another popular word which can make losing your job seem quite exciting is Severance. But if the makers of this movie were real bosses I think I would just bypass the severance and just become a beach bum! Christopher Smith directed this 2006 horror flick and included some actors you’ve seen but probably don’t know their names. Laura Harris (24, Dead Like Me) who plays Maggie is the most well known, but the entire cast does an above par job.
When I was younger, I always thought having a super power or ability like the talent of flight or invisibility would be awesome. As I get older, I realize that Telepathy would probably be a lot cooler. You could read minds, use the power of persuasion, or have the ability to find out what people are thinking - their wants, desires… Cameron Vale (played by Stephen Lack) has that power, but at times it more of a hinderance than it is a gift. You see, he’s a scanner - one of only 237 in the world that has unique telepathic abilities that allows him to control others with his mind - and he’s on the lookout for another person who shares his ability. The problem is, that other person is on the wrong side.
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