Tag Archive for 'biker'

Virgins from Hell

Rating: 1

With me being an emerging fan of Indonesian cinema I was fairly optimistic about the 1987 film Virgins from Hell (Perawan disarang sindikat) directed by Ackyl Anwari. First of all the title sends a mass overload of wonderful images to my mind. And ‘B’ it stars Harry Capri who we all remember from The Stabilizer and Rambu (aka The Intruder). So this should be a good movie filled with high entertainment and some decent nudity right? Let’s see…

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Northville Cemetery Massacre

Rating: 2.5

We haven’t reviewed too many flicks here yet, but this one had a place mostly near, and somewhat dear to our hearts. You see, Northville Cemetery Massacre was filmed in a town just 10 minutes away from where I live, so I was interested in what this movie was all about. Northville Cemetery Massacre (1976) is directed by William Dear and Thomas L. Dyke. I went through the credits and the first 20 people that were in the film have no other credits, so I won’t even bother mentioning their names. Two of the credits is “Detroit’s Scorpions Motorcycle Club”, and the “Road Agents Motorcycle Club”, and while some of the characters from the club have names, most of them aren’t mentioned in the credits. The other credit of note is the introduction of Nick Nolte’s voice… Yeah, his voice… Nick Nolte isn’t in the movie, but his voice is. He voices the main character Chris. Why Chris couldn’t use his own voice is any body’s guess. The movie is also graced with the musical genius that is Mike Nesmith (of The Monkees, of course) to provide the soundtrack.

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1990 The Bronx Warriors

Rating: 2

1990 The Bronx Warriors is a , movie directed by Enzo G. Castellari.

In 1990 the Bronx is officially declared “No Man’s Land”. The authorities give up all attempts to restore law and order. From then on, the area is ruled by “The Riders”.

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2020 Texas Gladiators

Rating: 2.5

2020 Texas Gladiators Title

For this review, I’m going to be taking a look at another piece of fine Cinema called “Anno 2020 - I gladiatori del futuro” aka 2020 Texas Gladiators. Gladiators is directed by Joe D’Amato (who also directed a previous movie of the week, Endgame) and stars Al Cliver (Endgame) Daniel Stephen (he was in an episode of The Chapelle Show) and Donald O’Brien (Zombi Holocaust aka Doctor Butcher M.D.) as “Black One”

The movie starts out pretty abruptly with this… After the apocalypse, a 5 man band of badass dudes form the Rangers. While on a mission to rescue some humans from a mutant attack, One of the rangers, Catch Dog, gets kicked out of the group by their leader Nisus for raping a woman they rescued named Miada. Catch Dog leaves to join forces with a group. Nisus, on the other hand, starts a family with Maida and they settle down in a small village where he works at the power plant on a experimental form of energy. The village tries to start a new civilization, but have to fend off attacks from a led by “Black one”. When the invades, Nisus’s wife gets raped again, and he dies trying to save her. The remaining rangers are on the case, and Catch Dog is trying to stop them from saving the town. Can you feel the suspense?

Somehow, the rangers all have an internal tracking device, because they always know where to find each other, even after being seperated for an unexplained amout of time. When rangers “Jab” and “Halakron” get put to work in the mines, “Red Wolfe” knows where they are with no problems. After they get free, it’s time to kick ass.

This movie has taught me a few things. For example, after the atomic war, people play defender and russian roulette for fun (one of my favorite quotes from the movie is “what’s the game?” “loser blows his head all over the wall, we call it roulette”), and if you cause too much damage, and get arrested, you get put to work in radioactive salt mines. Note to future self: practice on your defender, and learn how to use a pickaxe. Also, work on abs.

There’s a good amount of in this movie, unlike the other D’Amato movie I’ve seen “Endgame”, so the story moves along pretty well, even if it doesn’t make a lot of sense most of the time. The sets and most of the vehicles from this movie were recycled in Endgame, but they seem to work a little better in this one. 2020 Texas Gladiators also was made first, so it makes sense that the recycled material looks better here. As for the vehicles, The ranger mobile (along with all the other 4 wheeled vehicles in the movies) are totally laughable. There is a truck that looks like a black UPS truck for chrissakes. The acting, on the other hand, is just over the top enough, but the main villian “Black One” really pours it on thick with the schtick - right down to his maniacal laughter. Also, the whole native american aspect that comes up late in the film is a nice touch.

While this is an movie, it also has some elements of sci-fi. There are like soldiers that hold sheilds that are cutout that are impervious to weapon fire, and a laser rifle with no visible shots, just a phaser sound effect. Also, while I’m assuming this is supposed to be set in the year 2020, there’s not real indication from anywhere, except the title of the movie.

After watching this movie, I can’t tell what it has to do with Texas, Gladiators, or the year 2020. Nevertheless, it’s a pretty decent movie, even if you don’t know what the hell is going on 75% of the time.

Check below the break for how gambling is held in the future, and a look at one of those cut out shields I was talking about.

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Werewolves on Wheels

Rating: 2

wow-title.jpg

Take a movie, throw in a and werewolves and mix it all together and you get Michel Levesque’s (Sweet Sugar, The Gravitational Bed) flick “Werewolves on Wheels”. This one stars Steve Oliver (Peyton Place) as the leader of the , “Adam”, with a short part by Severn Darden (Mother, Jugs & Speed,) playing the satanic priest with the annoying voice, “One”.

This film starts out with a , the “Devil’s Advocates” wreaking havok on some random pair of guys driving down the road that happens to knock one of the buddies off his hog. They beat the driver (who looks a lot like Roscoe P. Coltrane from The Dukes of Hazzard) mercilessly at a gas station and throw him in the back of his own truck while his passenger drives off. Some kind of retarded gas station attendant shortly thereafter puts his eyes on his first pair of titties, as the get raucous at this weird gas station that serves beer… You’d think there’d be a police officer hanging around to catch drunk drivers, since that’s the ultimate in DUI-busting convenience. The whole opening scene is like a bizzaro Easy Rider.

The film is padded with a bunch of footage of these guys riding their choppers around to some song about having one foot in heaven and one foot in hell. After some long drawn out scenes of a satanic cult and their black mass - and the death of one black cat, the makes their way to the desert and the part of the movie starts up. Unfortunately, you don’t get to see much of the werewolves, but the makeup looks pretty good during those few minutes you do get to see them.

Some of the characters are somewhat amusing, but for the most part the toughguy act gets a little old after a while. What can you really expect though? They’re supposed to be these bad ass drinkin beers, doin bitches, right? They recycle a lot of footage of them driving around and if there’s more than 3 total songs throughout the movie, I’d be surprised. The whole thing is only an hour and 20 minutes, so you’d think they could have done a little better in condensing the pretty weak story.

The one big strike against this movie is that it takes a while to get to the scenes, which is probably what everyone’s really watching the movie for. After all the wait, there’s only one scene of a actually riding a motorcycle (which you can see in the trailer)! The thing that makes this movie so disappointing is that you’re probably just watching it for werewolves, but when they finally show up on screen, they’re so dark you really can’t tell what’s going on!

I was really underwhelmed with this movie. I think from the title, I was expecting a lot more. More werewolves, period - more werewolves killing people, and more werewolves riding on motorcycles. The whole thing is so dark that you’ll definitely have to watch it with the lights off so you can see some of the darker scenes. Even the trailer (which is posted below the break) is put in these weird colors so that they can show you what’s going on, because these scenes are the ones that are too dark to see. If you’re into movies, or you don’t have anything else to do and you see this movie in your local video store, give it a look, but I wouldn’t suggest going out of you way to see it. There are a lot of other movies out there, and most of them do the whole theme a lot better.

Look below the break for the trailer to “Werewolves on Wheels”

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Internal Bleeding - We specialize in and review B-movies, Horror, Exploitation, Grindhouse, Bizarre, Zombie and 80's teen schlock. Individual and Dueling reviews, every week.

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